Monday, July 14, 2008

Memory pool

Do you ever sense something that strikes a memory, in the dark recesses of your mind, that takes you back to a time in the past?


Your meandering throughout the mall and you walk by someone with a delectable smell on them and it instantly shoots you back in the past to an ex that had that same scent on him or her. You uncontrollably remember the most vivid memories of that said person.

That happens to me a lot when i listen to music.
certain songs i have to stay away from because they are ridden with bad memories.
they're like my version of the black plague. i break out with nasty boils, slowly dying. the works.

Others it reminds me of a certain place that i happen to be when i listened to it, or people i heard it with.
Funny instances, sad circumstances, angry outbursts.
it could spring forth any emotion in me.

When i listen to Ghost by My Chemical Romance, it reminds me of the days on base when i would jog around this circle in the pitch black. I remember how bright and radiant the stars would look out there. Orion was and still is my favorite constellation. i could always find it. He's what you might call my good luck charm =] that's right. i took a whole constellation for myself.
greedy? i think not.

Other songs, such as Through Hell by Say Anything or Only One by Yellowcard, remind me of my ex boyfriend. He was a whoooole mess of trouble for me. These songs i have to be careful not to listen to. It brings back too many confusing, crushing, painful, piercing memories to handle.

My point is that everyone has these kinds of experiences. We always mix our senses with our memories. its like the trigger finger of the brain gun. It can blow you away in some instances.

Humans sometimes ruin or enhance their experiences in life when they let these memories get in the way of the present things. It all depends on how we take things. Tramatic encounters happen all the time. Either move past it and get up off the floor or cling to it like a small clamouring child. we can take them in stride or against the grain.
Life wont be everything it could be if we let these little things define us.

You have a purpose. Dont let the bad part of the past hinder you from excelling into the future.
you have a hope and a future. everyone does.

And if the past does hurt, then learn from it. Or your personal history is doomed to repeat itself.
No one likes a copy cat.

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